Money money money

Over the years, I’ve become more and more certain that we, as mankind, face a huge problem. A problem that we brought upon ourselves. A problem that we took under our wings, nurtured, cared for, and perfected. A problem that now threatens us all. Alright, alright, I’m done with the dramatic movie entrance. Instead, let me ask you a simple question. What does this world revolve around?

a) The sun

b) Love

c) Money

If you picked the sun, you will most definitely miss the whole point of this post, so you might as well stop here and go make yourself a nice cup of tea to sip while pondering the answer to six down.

If you picked love, go away. Seriously, just close the damn window and go pluck daisies or something.

If you picked money, my friends, you’re cordially invited to read further. Or not. Whatever. I’m only writing this ‘cos I’m bored. But wait, I do have a point. The point is, this world revolves around money. You know all those famous quotes by famous people long dead that say “Money cannot buy happiness” or “Love conquers all” or “The chocolate starfish will take over the world”?

Go ahead, Google that last one. Do it. I dare ya.

Anywayyyyy, what I’m saying is… all these quotes? They’re bullshit. Utter and complete bullshit from the mouths of people who were either drunk, stoned or hiding from the men in the white coats and the large butterfly nets. Because let me tell you something, as someone completely sober, sane and pot-free – Money can buy happiness and Money conquers all, including chocolate starfish.

And that is the problem we face today. Money. Cash. Moolah.

Oh don’t get me wrong. Money by itself is quite peaceful and harmless. But place it in the middle of an old grannies’ baking class and you’ve got a fuckin stampede to deal with. The thing is, everybody wants it. Everybody wants money, and not just enough of it to live on, they want as much as they can get their little fingers on. You know this is true. I don’t have to bring out my defensive statements, do I? No? Good. Moving on, then. Obviously, the next question is “Why?” Why do people crave money?

Our society, our whole world, has grown into a money-centric one. No matter how much you claim happiness, love, sunshine, flowers and beavers are all that’s important in the world, if someone offered you a million dollars right now, no strings attached, you wouldn’t turn it down. Hell, you wouldn’t turn down ONE dollar.

OK, so you NEED money. For parking tickets, fines, phone bills, electricity bills and taxes. And women. Or OK, for food, clothing and shelter. So you can have kids, and your kids won’t starve to death, and can go to school to get a good education. And they need a good education so they can get a good job. And they need a job, so they can make money. And they need money for parking tickets, fines, phone bills, electricity bills, taxes, women, food, clothing and shelter. Are you beginning to see a vicious circle here?

To put it shortly, the very purpose of our existence is to make money. Not to love, or teach or grow… all those are secondary. First, you need money. And that, my friends, is the problem.

So my question is, why the fuck is money so important? When did it get so important, and who made it so??? Because dammit, I didn’t get a vote, and I protest!!! Oh and, after reading this, if any of you start feeling resentful towards your money, feel free to send it to me. I’ll gladly suffer on your account.